MOB Blog – for Mothers of Boys
Do you really want to spend your weekend doing that?
Those were the words my poor, simple husband did not have the good sense to keep to himself when we were recently “discussing” my workload and a more even distribution of the household chores. Admittedly, it was more me “discussing” loudly and him standing there with that glazed-over look they get in the eyes. And the worse thing is, that even though he had clearly tuned out, if I had challenged him to repeat what I just said (yes I do like to try that old one occasionally) he probably would have got it right because it’s the same old “discussion” we seem to have on a regular basis. Yes, I’m even starting to bore myself with it.
You see, dear friend, I am working split shifts these days. So on those days, I rush home in between my shifts and do the groceries / the cleaning / the washing and ironing / get dinner ready / baking for school lunchboxes / sewing for mossy / website updates and social media stuff / catch up on emails / or a million other things that have to be done some time!! And it’s occurred to me, that should the shoe be on the other foot, and Mr mossy be the one doing split shifts, you can bet your B-hind that he wouldn’t be doing any of this stuff. He’d maybe come home and read the paper. Or more likely, he’d go to the beach for a swim, go have a coffee or some lunch or find something else fun to do.
So I stupidly suggested that given everything else I have to get done during the week, perhaps we could get up early on a Saturday morning and do the cleaning together, which would save me a few hours during the week. At which point he uttered those silly, silly words “Do you really want to spend your weekend doing that?” which we all know means “You can’t seriously think I would want to spend my weekend doing that”. Obviously he denied strenuously that that was what he meant, but we know better. As I pointed out to him, my “weekend” involves Saturday morning sport, Saturday afternoon last-minute sewing for mossy and packing the car for markets, Sunday morning markets (after getting up at 4.45am on a Sunday-really!) and Sunday afternoon getting over Sunday morning, buying and washing more fabrics to start sewing on Monday and taking Mr 16 for a driving lesson (god help me, but that’s a story for another day). So, as I explained to Mr mossy, show me where in there was my “weekend” that I would so be missing out on by spending an hour of it doing the cleaning. He couldn’t – 1 point to me!!
Last week in the middle of my split shifts, I ran into another friend who was on a break from work and was also frantically doing some groceries. We both stood there and compared notes on how hard it is to get everything done and how little the men in our lives seem to assist with some of the more mundane tasks. She summed it up beautifully when she said “Whoever invented women’s lib should be shot” and the more I think about it the more I agree. Of course it’s great that we can all work as much as we want, but at any stage did any of the early feminists suggest that if we womenfolk were going out to work, then the menfolk should now have automatic responsibility for the cleaning / cooking / groceries. Or, at this point in time, I’d even settle for a 50/50 split. Something went horribly, horribly wrong with the whole system and I, for one, am exhausted!!
So, in answer to your question, NO, I probably don’t want to spend my weekend doing the cleaning. I also would rather not be running around like a blue-arse fly all week and “weekend” doing the things I do, but there you go! Such is life. If you really want to know, I would like to spend my weekend moving slowly between a swim-up pool bar and a banana lounge under gently swinging palm trees but that is about as likely to happen as me running the New York marathon this year.